Monday, February 15, 2010

Are you FUN to network with?

GetConnected2010 (www.getconnected2010.com) was an enriching 3-day experience on Miami Beach a few short weekends ago organized by PMC Events to celebrate International Networking Week (www.internationalnetworkingweek.com) Those of us who attended enjoyed several expert presentations, while networking with high-quality local, national and international professionals. While listening to several of the speakers, I was reminded of the six fun ways to network, and I hope you enjoy it.

Become FUN to REFER!

A referral is the best compliment another professional can pay to you, and your business; however, so many professionals forget the most important thing about being referred: to make the person or company referring you, look great, which makes you fun to refer! If you provide a world-class experience in your field, especially for those clients, friends, industry partners, and family who think enough of you to refer you, you’ll grow your business – guaranteed!

Become FUN to MEET!

A critical element of networking is meeting people. We attend so many events (seminars, continuing education classes, various training sessions, the frequent happy hour, chamber of commerce luncheons, etc.) How many times have you experienced “that person” who talks incessantly about themselves, who talks non-stop about the blah blah blah of their business, when all you really hoped for was a brief, yet meaningful introduction? First impressions create very lasting memories, so when you are meeting someone for the first time, prepare to be clear and concise in your communication – so that you can briefly and effectively say who are, what you do, how it helps others, and be prepared to ask for (and receive) a business card for future follow up. Ask yourself - are you fun to meet?

Become FUN to INVITE!

Do you suffer from too many event invitations, or not enough? If you answered the latter, then this paragraph is for you. While there are no hard and fast rules on “getting invited”, here are a few thoughts that will make you fun to invite: mix well in a diverse group of people, keep politics, sex, religion, and other personal items to yourself, stay current on your local, national and global news, while always bringing something of relevance to the host of the event, such as a bottle of wine, scotch, or a donation. These are not hard and fast rules, but rather ideas on how you can always be flooded with the right type of invitations, by being FUN to invite!







Become FUN to INVOLVE!

Society today moves as the speed of thought. Text messaging, Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and Cloud computing have us all craving for less tech and more personal interpersonal-interaction. Our communities have so much need, including a need for: money, volunteer time, expertise, and other basics – that if we’d all just work a little harder, and more together, we could dramatically reduce if not overcome these shortcomings. Think about what really matters to you. Think about how you can make an impact. Think about how society would benefit if more people like you stepped up. Then take an interest, and learn more. Take the risk, attend a meeting or an event. Take action! Serve on a board. Feed the homeless. Tutor a young child. Mentor a fellow business owner. Visit a local senior. Walk for a cause. Sponsor an event. And remember, when you become fun to involve, everyone wins!

Become FUN to SUPPORT!

Already involved in your community? Great! Have you developed a following for what you’re involved in? Invite your friends, family, colleagues and network to learn more about what you’re involved in, and most importantly why it matters to you and/or to our community, and you will start to become fun to support. By keeping your network actively aware of your efforts, it will build awareness, generate interest, and create a positive momentum that will make you fun to support!

Become FUN to COMPLIMENT!

Word of mouth is a powerful form of advertising and it is always working. The question: is it working for you? What do other people, companies, friends and family say about you, your business, and/or the way you live your life? Praise is fun, powerful, and a very motivating action; however, the likelihood is today that you’ll hear 5 criticisms for every 1 compliment. Why is that? Without delving into the labyrinth of psychological theories on the subject, it can be summed up in a simple way: act and do more positive things in better and more visible ways so that you can become more fun to compliment!

Monday, January 18, 2010

THRIVE through it!

Welcome to 2010!

The decade-ending 2009 is best viewed through your rearview mirror, and fortunately for us all, a new year is now. It has been my experience that a car is driven best from the driver's seat, with both eyes open wide, and you free from distraction looking squarely through the windshield and road ahead. As such, I am hoping this finds you in the drivers seat, packed full of the knowledge and experience you have gained over these past few years, and ready for your trip. What trip you ask? Your best year yet! Have you decided that 2010 will be your best year yet? Well - have YOU? All it takes to have your best year yet is YOUR DECISION to do whatever it takes to create the success you desire.

In late 2008, my partners from one of my businesses (BNI Miami-Dade) decided that we would "refuse to participate in the recession", and we wore maroon buttons with our logo to every meeting and event we attended in 2009. It was more than just a catchy slogan to us, as we truly believed in the possibility that 2009, despite all odds and obstacles, could be our best year yet. You know what? IT WAS! We ended 12/31/09 as the #1 rated franchise of BNI in the world, out of 372 franchises in 42 countries. No - I am not kidding, nor exaggerating - this is fact. If you don't believe me, contact our CEO Norm Dominguez at norm@bni.com, ask him which franchise ended 2009 #1 in the world on Traffic Lights, and who the Executive Director is, and if you reference Jeff Stay in the subject title, I am confident he'll respond.

So - I ask you again: have you decided to have your best year yet in 2010?
I know, I know.... we have tragedy happening in an already impoverished Haiti, a group of dictators seizing anything democratic in a beautiful country known as Venezuela, and an Iranian state determined to secure nuclear capabilities, for what is obviously military uses. As if that's not enough to send you into a depression, let's share some other reason(s) WHY you should have doubts, fears, and pessimism - provided to us courtesy of every news medium on planet Earth:

1-"we are in what is being called The Great Recession"
2-"we are in a long, protracted and difficult war"
3-"unemployment is above 10% in most major cities, and closer to 20% if you count those who are underemployed, or who have stopped looking"
4- "ObamaCare is on the verge of passing the U. S. Senate, and is that good (or bad) for America?"
5- "banks are handing out billions in bonus payments while the rest of us suffer"
6- "it's tough out there right now"

Shall I continue? No, of course not. So, if you're looking at the title of this article, and you're wondering impatiently what "it" is - let me explain. IT =the bad news. Each of these subjects 1-6, including the paragraph prior, were headline news stories from our area, from every area of the world today. In fact, they've been relatively similar since the "downturn", "slow down", or "bust" began, whenever that was. Do you know the one thing that hasn't changed in all that time? MY REACTION to the bad news! I have repeatedly decided, each and every year, to "THRIVE through it", and I sincerely hope after reading this, you will, too.

We are under assualt at every turn with pessimism, negatively-spun realism, or just plain negativism, and yet nobody is screaming aloud ENOUGH ALREADY! GIVE ME IDEAS, GIVE ME TIPS, GIVE ME TOOLS, GIVE ME EDUCATION, GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY AND GIVE ME HOPE! But they should be, because if we let the news media, including the t.v., newpapers, magazines, blogs, and locals publications control our mindshare, then we're always going to be talking about doom and gloom. How does that help anyone? It doesn't, but we remain addicted. Why? The answer to this question is not my field of expertise, so I'll avoid answering here; however, I'll tell you what is my field of expertise: CREATING SUCCESS. In fact, it's my business to help others in business to be more successful, which is the purpose of STAYSUCCESSFUL. (http://www.staysuccessful.com/)

How can you "THRIVE through it" in 2010?

T- tomorrow is here, so tackle that big problem from 2009, stop waiting and call on that dream client, and realize that the single best decision you can make right now, is to commit to your success - TODAY.

H- help others, passionately and with compassion to achieve their goals and dreams, and they in turn will help you to achieve yours.

R - remember the little things every day, such as a call from a friend, a card from a family member, or a hug and a kiss from your loved one.

I- invest in your business, and in yourself, by attending a seminar, listening to a CD (or an old cassette tape), or continuing your education.

V- ibe is the personal music you create, every minute of every day, in your business and in your life - so have you asked yourself lately - what the vibe that I am conveying to my community?

E- xcellence is not a destination, it's a journey that lasts forever, so when you succeed (and you will), re-load your goals, re-set your plans, execute your best intentions and THRIVE!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Celebrate LIFE!

Recently I lost a cornerstone in my life, "my networking coach", and my beloved grandmother of 93 years to a peaceful passing in her own home, and while surrounded by her two sons, family and loved ones. I was unable to be with her during her final days and hours due to a schedule conflict over a professional obligation. This Saturday marks the commencement of my acceptance to The George Washington University in our nation's Capitol city as a Master's Degree Candidate, or cohort as they call it at GWU. It was the end of her life that has me thinking about the rest of mine, and so I'd like to take this article as a matter of personal privilege, and share LIFE as Grandma Thea showed it to me. Perhaps after reading this, you too can celebrate LIFE!

L-ove

There is no substitute for love, especially when it comes to you unconditionally every day and every year of your life. As children we are not conscious enough to realize how important this is to the self-actualization process. As teenagers we begin to understand the wisdom and counsel, and yet we still don't fully grasp the values and morals being imparted. As adults we uncover how short life can be and yearn for those days gone by. In the simplest terms my grandmother was a gift of loving wisdom, loving support, loving kindness, and loving generosity for me, our family, and for everyone that she cared about. Grandma Thea knew how to love, and be loved, and this helped her to always celebrate LIFE.

I-ntegrity

As a survivor of The Great Depression, and World War II, this high school Hall of Fame basketball star went on to teach school in a small farm community, get married, have two boys, waitress, and later serve as the GM for the Kozlak Family at the famed Jax Cafe in Minneapolis. She invested 37 years at Jax. We of course shared several thousand conversations over our 41-year relationship, and yet one talk in her breakfast nook a few years back still resonates with me. It's about integrity. In 1962, my grandmother was a single-mom working as a waitress when she purchased the only home she'd ever own for $18,000. She borrowed the money from a family member, and promised to pay it back with interest. Rather than buy fancy things as her income grew, she repaid her loan in larger payments plus the interest, sooner than she had promised. No bank loan. No security guarantee. No problem. "I gave my word" she said, and that day I learned that "integrity is what you do when nobody else is looking." Nothing could me more true, and yet more in need today than people who give their word, and keep it.

F-ailure

Some of the best lessons in life come as a result of failure. We make decisions, take risks, change direction, refuse advice and endeavor forward only to find out that things don't always work out as we hope, or as we plan. I have experienced failure in both personal and professional instances - and I am thankful. At the time or place of occurrence, failure can feel very defeating; however, it's all a matter of perspective. A short story will illustrate my point, so immediately following high school, I had choices to make about my future. I was blessed with a great public education, athletic talent, an interest in serving my country, and some artistic ability. Would I play baseball? Would I join the Army? Would I pursue Acting? Honestly, I was swamped with choices, and short on clarity about which one to choose. After my first month of washing dishes from 6am-2pm M-F at a local nursing home (not a fun summer job, I assure you), I stopped over to Grandma Thea's to mow her lawn. I was certain dish washing was not my future! After mowing the lawn, she invited me in so we could play our favorite game of cards (cribbage) and talk over coffee in the breakfast nook. She sensed that something was on my mind, and shortly thereafter we were talking about my future. She asked many good questions, and listened intently as I shared my thoughts on each option. Rather than judge me prematurely, she shared stories of her life, and points during which she had choices to make. She shared the choices openly, and to my surprise, some of them were failures; however, this was the lesson. Grandma Thea reinforced the need for me to have faith in my own judgement and abilities. The next day I decided to join the Army, and she was in full support. I visited the local recruiter and "signed up" for 2 years to become an Airborne Ranger so that I could serve my country before I went to college. My plan was to exit the military in 2 years, and then to take advantage of the GI Bill which offered $25,000 for college with a minimal Reserve commitment. Without getting into details, I failed the last phase of the entrance process because of a misdiagnosis on the part of a Navy doctor at the MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station.) It was that failure that changed the rest of my life, and for the better. Because I had failed to join the Army, I did not end up serving in Desert Storm/Iraq and I instead went on to graduate from a nationally recognized university, land a premier position with a Fortune 500 company, relocate to South Florida and start a successful business network that today is the fastest growing in our market, author and launch a professional development program unlike any other in the world, marry an amazing woman to share my life, and today serve as the first senior executive to hold the title of Chief Relationship Officer within a major law firm.

Failure? Yes. Thankful? Yes - and thank you Grandma Thea for sharing the perspective that helped me to create so many of my life's successes.

E-verlasting

To experience something so great in your life is to hope that it never ends. While we're in the present, tomorrow seems near, and forever is hard to imagine. Forever is way out there, somewhere, someday, and we'll all get to it or there eventually. Forever, that is. This brings me to the conclusion of my article, but certainly not the end of the story surrounding the wonderful person and life of my Grandma Thea. I have so much to say, so much to share, so much to give so I'll be talking about her, thinking about her, and remembering her every day for the rest of my life. You see - the best parts of her are within me, thanks to her unconditional gift of love, time, wisdom, knowledge, and perspective. The greatest gift I can give this world, is to honor her life by sharing her best which resides in me, with you.
I used to wonder what it meant when my favorite Pastor would say "and his everlasting love, Amen" at the conclusion of a prayer about Jesus. NOW I KNOW. My everlasting gift from Jesus himself, was my Grandma Thea to watch over my life.

I'll miss her kindness and loving way more than words can say, so for now I'll celebrate LIFE! And you should, too.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

4 Healthy Obsessions

Can Obsession Be Healthy?

YES! While the word "obsession" is rarely used in a positive way, becoming obsessed with communication, psychology, education, and relationships is what we most need to succeed in business, and in life! At STAYSUCCESSFUL, our sole focus is accelerating, continuing, and growing the success of our clients. By helping the already successful salesperson, business owner, business professional, executive, and team, we clear the path despite a challenging (and ever-changing) economy. While these times may seem extraordinary, and indeed they are, we must never lose our tireless pursuit of excellence, and these 4 obsessions will help!

Communication - a vital organ of success

Effectively conveying your message is paramount to achievement in business. Clear, concise communication is a necessary skill for profitable word-of-mouth marketing, more commonly known as business networking. Less is more. Verbal vomit, a technical term for over-speaking your welcome, is a sure way to lose the valuable attention (and time) of those who most need to know who you are, and what you do. Be specific about who you want to meet. Educate briefly on how you can help them. Differentiate your company, products, services, and acumen distinctively. Motivate your network passionately to trust you, introduce you, and refer you over the competition. How well you practice is how well you play, and how well you play is displayed in the number high quality introductions you achieve, and the number of qualified referrals you receive. Think about it!

Psychology - your mindset is the fuel for bodily action

Someone once correctly said "the mind is a terrible thing to waste", and we could not agree more! Nothing creates waste on your brain (and poor performance) more than self-imposed negativity. Starting positive is one way to ensure a successful day, week, month, and life. How do you do it? Reflect upon your best success. How did you do it? Remind yourself continuously of the steps involved in your best success, and they will become habit. Put more focus on enhancing your strengths, and just enough focus to address your weakness. Speak the language of success, hope and possibility within your client and business success stories. Also, consider who's talking favorably about you – and share it! Who’s had success with you - share it! Keep your mind in shape, think about the value you provide, and your positive energy will resonate.

Education – the continual process of learning

You can teach the old dog new tricks! OK, okay – we are not suggesting you’re a dog or that you are old; however, are you eager to learn new methods, tactics, and tools? To the point, if we humans were more like our K9 friends, we'd be so much better off. Why? Dogs are driven (and perform best) with routine; whereas humans are driven by habit. If we humans could bring more positive routine into our lives (and less bad habit), especially in the area of self-education, we'd be eager to: read more about our field, listen more to experts in our field, speak more with others about our field, and innovate more to grow our field. How are you "sharpening your saw" as Stephen Covey would say? Articles, blogs, CD's, books, podcasts, seminars, colleges & universities, and trainings are available. Become obsessed to develop the habit and routine of self-education!

Relationships - the foundation of a successful life
Connected or disconnected – which one are you? The answer lies in the level of knowledge that you purposefully gather about every relationship in your Rolodex. "I have thousands of contacts in my Outlook, ACT!, or database" is a commonly heard statement. OK - but how many relationships do you have? The advent of Google, Facebook, and Twitter have us falsely believing that we are truly connected, when in fact, we are genuinely disconnected. Disagree? Good! Try this exercise: open your database – proceed to the letter S – select the first name in your S section and answer these 5 questions: What is this person’s primary goal for 2009? What accomplishment are they most proud of from 2008? What interests does this person have beyond their work? What skills does this person have beyond business? This is called the GAINS Profile, and was introduced by Dr. Ivan Misner, Founder & Chairman of BNI. If you are like most, many of these items are not known to you. How connected you are is more about what you know about who you know, than the number of people you think you know. It is also about your ability to refer qualified opportunities and solutions to your network via meetings, phone calls, and email. Think about it! If you are not certain, or feel that you could use a refresher on your network, or networking skills, then tune in to www.getconnected10.com, and join us for International Networking Week (www.internationalnetworkingweek.com) in 2010. Plan now, save now, and invest in yourself!

I challenge you to become obsessed with communication, psychology, education and relationships. It will change your business, and your life!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Six FUNdamentals of netWORKing


(1) Farming vs. Hunting

Your rolodex is your most important business asset. Who you know is not as important as what you know about who you know. Categorizing your contacts and organizing your word-of-mouth (networking) plan creates the opportunity for the development of profitable relationships.

(2) Less is More

Verbal vomit is the worst thing you can do to another professional, and certainly is not a good way to start a new business relationship. Please don't assume that people you meet at events want to know everything about you, or your business. Time is of the essence, so get to the point quickly, and strategically, through a focused, targeted business message that builds attraction to you and your business.

(3) Investment AND Involvement

Business professionals commonly take the either-or approach to decision-making about marketing and/or involvement. You've made the membership investment into an organization (or several), but are you involved in the organization to a level high enough to create opportunity? Hint: sending your application & check, or simply attending a breakfast or lunch or committee meeting (once) does not mean you're involved. Maximizing your participation in business organizations of different types is the starting point to building the VCP Method, according to Dr. Ivan Misner, Founder & Chairman of BNI (http://www.bni.com/). A business and professional must be visible to become credible, which leads them to profitable with involvement, thus VCP.

(4) Perfect Practice Makes Perfect Business

Sports teams practice. Doctors practice. Attorneys practice. Do you? How well you practice your business, including how well you prepare and present, reflects upon YOU. A team that does not practice, or practice well - does not play well. Same holds true in business. If you practice your communication, practice your pitch, practice your networking, practice your sales & marketing tactics, you'll soon realize that perfect practice, makes perfect business.

(5) CARE!

Sounds simple, right? Wrong! Let's talk about customer service. If you're like most, your brain just shut off. Do we really have to tell you to care more than anyone else, care more than your competition, care more than your neighbor, care more than your colleague, and care more than your partner or company? YES - obviously we do, and if you don't believe me, reflect upon your last experience where someone, anyone, went out of their way to show you how much they care, just because.... 'nough said. Care more than anyone else, everyday, and make it your habit to give more, coach more, forgive more, and share more. See what happens and let me know. I look forward to hearing from you, IF YOU CARE ENOUGH TO SHARE!

(6) How Can I Help You?

These are simply the 5 most powerful words in business networking, and in life. No alterior motive, no hidden agenda, just straight talk and committed action. Try it! Ask your best friend, your wife, your parents, your colleagues, your customers, your prospective customers, your vendors, your suppliers, your neighbors, your worst enemy - how can I help you? Don't be alarmed if at first they don't get what you're asking, because nobody ever does with sincerity, or rarely anyway. Explain that your goal is to help them with whatever they need, and if they can't think of it right now, fine... request that they let you know when they have something, and follow-up so they know you're sincere. The results will not only pleasantly surprise you, they will change your business, and your life.

The (6) FUNdamentals of netWORKing are supposed to bring the FUN back to the WORK of being in business. I hope you'll give them a try.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

2009 - Your Best Year Yet!

Imagine ......

It's 12/31/09, the last day of the year. The Holidays have come and gone, and you find yourself reflecting upon the past year, when you enthusiastically exclaim: 2009 was my best year yet! How would you feel? AWESOME! HAPPY! ENCOURAGED! SUCCESSFUL! So what would that mean to your business, your family, and your life to make 2009 your best ever? Let's explore that possibility to ensure this becomes reality for you.

Success Is Your Choice......

It's a new year, and the coming days, weeks and months will be full of opportunities, obstacles, and choices. Where does success start? Right here, right now, today! That's right. Today (like everyday) is a choice. A choice for you personally, and professionally, to "better your previous days best", as Dick Zalak would say of FOCUS 4. Success can (and will) be your's, if you'll dare to decide! Decide to set s.m.a.r.t. goals. Decide to netWORK more effectively. Decide to ask "how can I help you" in every conversation. Decide to get involved in your community. Decide to focus on your core competency. Decide to communicate more succinctly. Decide that success will be yours!

I DARE YOU!

More than a statement, it's a famous little book written decades ago by the visionary Jonathan Danforth III (founder of the American Youth Foundation, (http://www.ayf.com/) The simple concepts changed my perspective, and my life. It was a gift from Harold Holden Sr., the founder of Holden Graphic Services where I spent my nights & weekends working my way through college. I am forever grateful to Mr. Holden for sharing it, and if you can find it, "I Dare You" will change your perspective, too. How? Within these rather unassuming pages are a treasure chest of meaningful statements, paraphrased as follows: I Dare You to Commit to Excellence. I Dare You to be Physically Stronger. I Dare You to Work Harder. I Dare You to Give More. I Dare You to Love More. I Dare You to Be Courageous. You get the idea, right?

I Dare You.... to succeed!

"Success is never-ending, and failure is never final", words of wisdom from Robert Shuler. Success begins with a well designed business (or life) plan created each year that drives to your vision, while keeping ever-constant your mission, with annual goals including objectives that are best measured daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly.

Use your imagination to envision 12/31/09, make the choice, and dare yourself to succeed!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Non Profit netWORKing

This column is different. Why? These times are different. How? Good question!

While we have invested much of our focus with STAYSUCCESSFUL into profit-driving, revenue-generating, strategy-enhancing, bottom-line improving activities; yet we must not forget about the act of philanthropy, and helping those people & families less fortunate, including the businesses designed to serve them.

This column will focus on the reality of today. Our financial markets are in turmoil. Our housing sector has not as yet seen the bottom. Our manufacturing industry is idling plants, laying off workers, and outsourcing to the world. Our military is engaged in two formal wars, and many other conflicts in an effort to preserve democracy. All the while together we stand in the wake of Hurricane IKE, and the literal devastation to smaller island nations like Haiti or Cuba, and now to our very own in Texas.

So what can you do? GIVE!

Give your time to a non-profit organization that needs you.
Give your money in proportion to a charity that inspires you.
Give your energy in service to others through volunteerism in your community.
Give your ideas to another business owner or person to help them improve their life.
Give your skills and expertise to a friend, family, or business less fortunate that you.
Give your whole-heart to a cause that will make a difference in our world.

Dr. Margaret Mead said it best: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed – it is the only thing that ever has.”

Begin the positive change in our world today by giving more of you!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

How Can I Help You?
Identifying The 5 Most Powerful Words in Networking

Welcome to my long-overdue BLOG! In my first post, I’d like to share the 5 most powerful words in business networking. I know what you’re thinking: Of all the powerful, eloquent, strategic, and effective words available to us in the English language, how can there only be five most powerful? Good question!

The Facts of Life

For most of us in South Florida, and in most major metropolitan areas in the U.S.,daily life has become increasingly fast-paced. Time is at a premium as we strive to do more. Add to that bad news headlines, rising costs of living, increased traffic congestion, less customer loyalty, leaders lacking integrity, violence and crime on our streets, higher employee turnover, underfunded education, and rapidly changing economic conditions. As a result, each year professionals of all types experience the new facts of life reality: most people must work harder each year to keep pace.

The Rx for Failure

To remedy the reality of the facts of life, we hurry up to buy the latest cellphones that are more advanced, thinking we’ll be more efficient. We purchase fancy software programs, believing they will keep us more connected. We print exotic brochures, hoping they’ll catch our prospective clients attention. We build websites that are so exciting Google can’t even find them. We advertise like crazy hoping customers will come rolling in. And we join multiple membership organizations because we hear that involvement is beneficial to our business. If you're like most people, you're still not satisfied. Why?

Getting Back to Basics - and to the point!

So I've laid out the facts of life, shared the prescription (Rx) for failure, and if you're like most, satisfaction still eludes you. It is here that I'll encourage you to revisit the title of this post. Notice that the title is only 5 words? You were in such a hurry living your fast paced life, and using your newest techno-gadget and likely so anxious to get to the next most-important thing, that you missed the obvious!

So take a minute each day, slow things down, open your ears, close your mouth, and ask the question: How Can I Help You? By helping others as a way of doing business (and living life), others will naturally in turn want to help you.

It's so simple, it's complicated!